Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Ahhhh Running, You Are Such a Bitch!

Since my separation it has been really hard to fit in running.  It is a complete miracle if I can run alone and running with the jogging stroller limits how far I can go.

My max is five miles with the stroller and it seriously almost killed me.

I ran the Fairfield half last summer and it was a complete shit show.  I am normally a 2 hour half marathon.  1:57 to 2:05 in all of my halfs.  Last year, THREE FREAKIN HOURS!  How is it even possible that it took me that long to run 13.1 freaking miles???

I literally wanted to die the entire race.  I psyched myself out from the start.  I was so nervous and it just blew up in my face.  My stomach hurt, my feet hurt.  Just awful.

I took a break from racing after that and just ran for fun.

Then this fall I decided I was going to come back with a vengeance.  I signed up for the Runner's World half in Newton, Ma.  I was SURE I could get someone to run with me.

Crickets.....

No one was interested.  Now I am not sold on making the trip all by myself and then running alone.  But I feel like a failure if I drop out.  All I want to do is get back to my old speed and have a great race under my belt.

It is just like when I trained for my first full marathon.  I used to hit a wall at 14 miles every long run.  Then finally one day I glided past 14 and we were good to go.  I just need to burst through that wall and come out on the other side.

I know running is all about head games but lately she is really mind fucking me.

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