Tuesday, March 24, 2015

The Battle of Bedtime

Most nights in our house, bedtime resembles the WWE.  Or maybe WWIII would be a better analogy.  It is downright ugly.  End of the world, apocalyptic uglyness.

The night starts out so great.  We brush our teeth, read our book and then I tuck my snuggly little boy into bed.  I kiss his forehead, say goodnight and shut the door.

And that is when my sweet little boy turns into a little demon monster, just like Carrie in the exorcist (minus the pea soup)...

For the next 1-2 HOURS he slowly breaks me, until I am a complete raving lunatic.  Screaming at the top of my lungs, taking away teddy bears, snatching pacifiers and the absolute worst...turning off all the lights so he is in the dark.

If the US Army wants to take notes, this is how you truly break someone.... Max style.  From the moment I tuck him in, it is game on.  He keeps getting out of bed like a jack in the box.  He slowly opens the door and then when you look at him or tell him to go back to bed, he laughs.  YES, HE LAUGHS IN MY FACE.

At first, I am able to ignore this.  I tuck him back into bed two, three, four times.  By time number five, I am gritting my teeth, determined not to lose my temper.  By time number ten, I am yelling and taking things away.  By time number fifty, I am screaming like a mad woman.

In between getting out of bed, he systematically destroys his bedroom.  Ripping sheets off the bed, banging creepy talking Elmo against the door until you are sure he is going to break the door down, clanging the blinds against the window.  All in hopes I will come running in.

When that doesn't work, he screams Mommy over and over until my ears start to bleed.

Last night, I literally broke.  By 10pm I lost my temper completely.  After two hours of destruction and laughing, I just snapped.  I yelled and I spanked him and then he sobbed hysterically and told me I scared him.  I hugged him, went into my bedroom and cried like a baby.

Bedtime shouldn't be like this right?  It should be peaceful.  But we are stuck on a merry go round of terror,  complete with scary clowns, screaming and destruction.  I literally don't know how to stop it this hellish ride and we are starting to spin out of control.

I tried ignoring but that didn't work.  I tried the no talking, no eye contact.  But how many times can you tuck a kid back in.  After two hours of bedtime battle, how do you end it.  There has to be a way to take back bedtime.  But for the life of me, I can't figure out how.....

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