Monday, October 26, 2015

Run Forest Run

Those of you who know me from back in the day (pre Max) know that I used to actually be a runner.  I actually ran a couple of times a week, ran tons of races each year and even (gasp) ran a marathon or two.  I even had a blog on the interwebs, just to talk about my running obsession.

For years, running was more than my passion.  It was my lifestyle.  My weeks were filled with early morning runs with friends, weekly runs with my running club and my weekends were solely devoted to the long run.  I spent a fortune on shoes and race fees.  I owned more running shorts than I did jeans.  I talked about running 24/7.

I ran on my wedding day because there was no way I was going to skip a scheduled run while training for the Marine Corp Marathon.  I remember telling people that my NYC marathon race was so amazing that it was one of the best days of my life.  Running was literally my everything.

I can't pin point when it all fell apart because I think it was a slow crumble.  First my ex's drinking made it hard to leave the house, then I was pregnant and running wasn't fun, finally when I had Max, there was no way I was leaving him with a drunk.  The fews runs I went on after I had Max, I remember being so exhausted that I stopped on the street and cried.  I felt broken.

It was even worse when I moved back to CT.  My life was in shambles, I was living with my parents, and Max took up every second of my day.  I tried to come back from all of this by running a half marathon that June and it was awful.  My worst time EVER.  I was actually ashamed of the results and barely told anyone I ran the race.

That is probably the moment that killed me.  Runners are highly competitive and I was once at the top of my game with sub 2:00 half marathons.  That last half took me almost three hours.  What the fuck happened to me?

Either way, I broke up with running.

I was talking to my sister the other day and she told me that when I was running, I was the happiest I had ever been.  It completed me.  It helped calm me and center me.  I worked through all of my problems while running and when I was done, I felt refreshed and ready to tackle anything.

For the last couple of weeks, I have started going for runs during my lunch break .  It is hard and not always enjoyable.  But when I am done, I feel amazing.  Hot and sweaty and amazing.

So running and I are getting back together.  You heard it hear first.  Time to lace up those sneakers, bitches.