Tuesday, March 15, 2016

World's Worst Fisher-Lady

Do you ever feel like a fisherman/fisher-lady (thank you very much)?  That is how I feel some days.  Like I am blindly casting in a lake or the ocean, hoping that something catches.  I know nothing about fishing so just go with this analogy for right now.

My life (especially because of one little monkey) is a lot of juggling balls.  Work, Max, being healthy are just a couple.  I want to have friends and hopefully one day a relationship.  More balls in the air.  Add in school conferences, my part time job and making sure Max wears green to school on Tuesday (why???) and I feel like there is always something that I am missing.

In an effort to achieve all of these goals, get all these things accomplished, check off my to do list, and so on, I sometimes make half assed attempts at said project so I can say I am done with it.  But in reality those half assed attempts mean I am always coming back to said project to fix my mistakes.

Hence me being the world's worst fisher-lady.  It is a lot of casting my line and hoping that something bites.  Because I don't always know what I am doing.  And I am only giving fishing about 20% of my attention.  So I am really doing this blindly.  (Still an analogy... I am not actually talking about fishing)

A lot of people talk about mindfulness and focus.  I am incredibly focused at times.  But I am also an extreme multitasker.  I eat breakfast while walking the dog.  I put on makeup while driving (don't tell my insurance).  Today I was on the phone with a customer, while simultaneously stretching my feet (Best Purchase EVER) and typing an email.  How can I do all of these things well when I am only giving them some of my attention?  Does it makes sense to do something half assed and then have to redo it?

This winter I made a promise to myself.  When I came home from work, I would put my phone away till Max went to bed.  Being on my phone makes him act out, then I get annoyed because I can't focus, and it becomes a vicious cycle.  I decided that he needed me to be more mindful of our time together.  It has been hard juggling work with that time offline but I am making it work.  Max is most important and I have found our nights go a lot smoother without the power struggle.

So how can you be more focused in other areas and still get everything done?  This is what I have found that works:

- Multitask when it doesn't matter.  Def catch up on your favorite show while running on the treadmill.  Talk on the phone while painting your nails.
-Handle your most important tasks first.  I make a to do list each day and I tackle the most important things early in the morning, when I am fresh and the office is quiet.  If it doesn't get done by 9am, there is a good chance that it won't happen today.
-Take time to turn everything off.  I have recently gone back to real, honest to god, made from paper books.  I can turn off my brain better when I don't have a device in my hand.  It allows me to enjoy the story without stopping to check my emails or troll instagram.
-Make time to work out.  When my day is crazy, nothing clears my head better than a workout.  A lot of days I only have time for 30 minutes but afterwards I really feel amazing.  I know it seems silly to add another thing to my to do list each day but working out is important to me, so I make it a priority every single day.
-Make a list and check it twice.  I have lists for my lists.  It is the only way I can remember all the details and get everything done!

Given all of this, I still don't really know what I am doing on a daily basis.  I figure that if I get up every day, make a solid effort at not fucking everything up and go to bed relatively happy, then we will call that day a success.  

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